Had she really been sleeping with my so-called mates?… Could I go on to make this marriage work?… Was it all in my imagination?… Do I keep taking the pills, or is there more to it than meets the eye?… This was the start of becoming a legalized drug addict. With what was then classed as the wonder drug of its time… Valium.
It hit me out of the blue. Married four years, a two-year-old son, everything in the garden seemed rosy. Then my wife tells me sex twice a week was not enough for her. That I should think about going to see a doctor and find out why I did not feel like “wanting it more” as she put it. I was given male hormone injections for some weeks, but it did not increase my sexual appetite. Constant disapproval from my wife took me down and down, in the end, the hormone injections were stopped and my doctor suggested he start me on a new wonder drug, that would lift my mood and help me to cope with my situation.
What he did not say, or looking back at what he did not realise then was that some years down the line, I was not going to be able to give up this wonder drug, because unknown to me then I was becoming addicted and was soon to learn I could not live without the drug. Even though as time went by I learned about and suffered awful side effects that this new medication was causing. As time went on I went down and down, in the end, I did not care a damn about much anything.
Our son was 4 years old before a friend dragged me back by telling me that in between the times my wife was not having sex with me she was jumping into bed with most of the men in and around our social gathering. I did not believe this, (silly me) but never the less it had put doubt in my mind, especially thinking of her attitude over the past years. I had tried to increase my sexual appetite for her… I divorced her not long afterward.
I could write a book about my life, but this is not the time, nor the place. What does concerns me is that I still take these antidepressants 40 years later and not because I can’t cut the mustard, it is solely the by-product, (side effects) of the medication. I was left on them for that many years my body seems not to be able to live without them these days. Believe me, it is not for the want of trying. Many times I have slowly weaned myself off this medication (over 3+ years) and it always ends the same… physical pain, and severe depression follow… For now, I have written enough…
The owner of this site has asked people like me with experience of this type of medication to tell others in the hope that it will help them to question the doctor, should there come a time in their lives that they are offered this kind of help.
My advice for what it is worth, check out other areas of help first. I have often looked back and thought if I had been given the information on other areas that are available now, I would have checked it out first and maybe, just maybe I would not now be still trying to stop the taking of the medication that has dominated and controlled my life all these years. One other thing no matter what you are told about the new medication of today being free from side effects, it is worth remembering, that is what they told me 40+ plus years ago.
My own thoughts on this type of mind medication. If it interferes with the body’s normal function then I believe there will always be a price to pay, no matter how small.
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